Posted by noa on August 27, 2000, at 14:12:22
In reply to Re: hearing voices again/HELP! » kellyR., posted by Jade on August 27, 2000, at 12:50:01
Kelly, around a year ago, and around 8 months ago, I felt that I was never going to get better. But I am getting better now.
I really thought then that it was impossible for things to improve. Going on seemed too painful.
What helped was I found this board, and I kind of put myself in my therapist's hands, and decided to suspend my own thinking about how my life is going, and to just commit to getting through day by day, alive, a commitment that I made to my therapist and to myself.
Without getting more help, I would not have been able to get to a point where I pursued more medical info and tried new med combos, until I finally started to feel better.
I know you really see the future as bleak. And, in a deep depression, it is almost impossible to see it otherwise. So, don't expect yourself to change the feelings. But, a good expectation is to get the help you need right now to stay safe and alive, to hold you until the depression can be treated sufficiently. I know it seems impossible to feel any hope, but there is hope. I know what it is like to not believe there is hope. But it is just that in the depths of depression, it is like not being able to SEE the hope, even though it is there.
Let others hold the hope for you until you can see it.
I cannot promise anything, but can tell you from my experience that it is possible to get to the other side of that horrible, bleak oppressive despair. I could not imagine getting past it myself, but here I am to report that I did get past it. I am here. I am alive. I am not as happy as I would like to be someday, but I am OK. I got out of that horrible storm, I survived it and can now get up every morning and actually enjoy some things. But just months ago I was in horrible despair, feeling I had no more options but to die.
Please, Kelly, please keep yourself safe. Please hold on. There are medications you have not tried yet, I think, that might work for the voices, and might be tolerable for you.
poster:noa
thread:34
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/260.html