Posted by Cherrybomb on July 3, 2008, at 14:40:31
In reply to Depression » Cherrybomb, posted by fayeroe on July 3, 2008, at 13:26:52
I don't know why I beat myself up. I don't know why this whole stupid thing has bothered me so much. The one thing I can remember is that my mom always made excuses for me. If I didn't say hello within one second she would say "why don't you say hello" or "she's just shy." I hated this to the point where I just stopped trying to be polite because I felt she was trying to force me. My brother was always the smart one. If he didn't succeed it was because he didn't try hard enough, if I didn't succeed it was because "I just wasn't good at math" or whatever. I knew it was really because I didn't study hard enough. Combine that with always being unpopular and picked on and you end up with someone with very poor social skills. I don't know. I let this guy damage my self-esteem and I don't know why. I was obviously clinging on to what I thought was a friend. He did try to defend our friendship and he says that he talked to his girlfriend a few times about it, but I don't think he's totally innocent. He wants to blame the two of us by saying we are antagonistic and controlling. I don't really know how I let this get to me. I suppose now would be a good time to thank you for listening. I had contemplated quitting the ensemble, but then that means he wins and I lose. I suppose I can't keep rambling on about this forever. I think it's pretty common for the average female to try to figure things out by talking.
poster:Cherrybomb
thread:837474
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20071110/msgs/837856.html