Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2014, at 18:31:33
In reply to long-term psychotherapy, feelings, fears, ending, posted by Kimberly April on April 18, 2014, at 18:12:08
I really hesitate to answer you, because my viewpoint is biased by own experience.
I totally understand your position. I've been in it myself many years. I have seen my therapist as a mother figure, and discomforted him no end by referring to his milky breasts. In some ways he has been my mother, emotionally.
I would say it's ok to maintain some sort of relationship. But it's also important to protect your heart. Don't rely on his always being there. Even with the best of intentions, therapists in the end hurt us. Not just me but others here as well have experienced this. They grow old and retire, or get sick, or worse. I suppose that while they care about us (or the best of them do) - especially in a long term relationship, we will always care more. And that causes pain.
There are many therapists these days who aren't as black and white about termination. Is your therapist open to just decreasing the frequency of appointments? It used to be widely thought that termination was an important part of therapy. Nowadays even more psychoanalytically oriented therapists might be open to less frequent visits or even to your calling if something crops up in your life where you need to see them. I personally don't see much therapeutic use in excising someone you care about from your life. But I suppose it's also good to gain some distance so that one day if termination happens, the pain is bearable.
poster:Dinah
thread:1064448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1064598.html