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Re: sick to death

Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2012, at 14:18:02

In reply to sick to death, posted by g_g_g_unit on March 24, 2012, at 23:27:59

Sometimes a relationship just gets to an unbearable place of mutual hostility. I can see only two ways to change it.

One is to behave as if the relationship was better. This has worked surprisingly well for me with everyone from my husband to an occasional dog. Behave lovingly and respectfully to your mom and you might see a big difference in her own behavior. You can't change her thoughts or behaviors, only your own, but in my experience this technique can help in situations where a relationship is stuck in a bad place.

You can also view it as the price for the living space and comforts. If you choose the comforts, it's best to pay the price with as much good grace as you can muster. When she is being troublesome, think about the comforts of living at home, and detach from the situation seeing it as the same as paying a cash payment for a living situation and comforts. You are paying in aggravation rather than cash. But earning cash often involves aggravation...

The other is to leave. You get the advantages of comfort living at home, there is a price to pay. If you can't pay the price, you need to give up the comforts. It's a choice you make.

I feel badly for both of you in this situation.

Perhaps there are other options I haven't seen. Is family therapy an option?




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