Posted by DAAIM on October 18, 2010, at 2:22:12
In reply to Re: I am so sad in my marriage what to do, posted by Enigma on October 13, 2010, at 14:53:05
Thank you all for your responses. I will try to punctuate a bit to make it easier to read. Sorry about that. Well, he is an excellent father, he helps around in the house, he cares about his kids and is involved with everything related to them, we go together to all social events, either kids related or related to us, he never abused me verbaly or physicaly never, we do treat each other in a very respectful way, he is home when he is supposed to be home, he never went out if when any of us is sick, and he goes out with friends but not on fixed dates it is random and usually to do sports, and not that often really and it is his choice because of his limited time cause of his job so he prefers to rest at home sometimes than going out with his friends, his choice really, actually sometimes I encourage him to go when he is feeling tired or just lazy and tell him that he is going to have fun. As for cheating don't think so he doesn't have time and it doesn't show as far as i know. I asked him several times to try this sepration trial period but he refused and still refuses. I told him it is okay, may be you don't love me, or may be you loved me but now u don't, i told him i am okay with this if this is the situation, and that is okay to happen no problem, let us leave each other and be happy. His answer was no I addore you, I can not live without you, you are everything to me!! I was like if you are doing this for the kids then beleive this is not right, us leaving each other might benefit them more than us staying like this together. He was like no i am not doing this for the kids!! he keeps saying i am wrong you are totally right and i don't know what is happening and what i am doing !! he is driving me crazy and i asked him to leave the house several times but he doesn't want to leave, he keeps saying i don't beleive that this is the right solution. so i am like okay come up with a different solution. he is like i don't know. and so on and so on --- aughhhhhhhhhhh i don't know what is happening to us really. I even arrgued with him about the part that he says i can not live with out u and i love you, i was like okay prove it, tell me what you do that makes me beleive that you love me or that you can not live without me? what is it that makes you not able to live without me--name one thing -- he was silent, i was like see, these r only words that you don't understand!! Marriage counceling is not really good here in Egypt (this is where i live) there are marriage councelling but they are not that good. they are basically shrinks that don't know anything about anything they just have a college degree :-)) besides even if there is one good shrink he wouldn't go cause i discussed it before with him and he just refuses every time i open the subject with him. the last argument we had he was like i will change beleive me i will wait and see. the problem is that he says it before several million times but he doesn't change!!! okay he might not know how to do these things or unable to express fine i accept this but the probelm is that i feel that we r two machines living together. we only talk about the kids, progress at school, savings, budget, making decisions, ...... no time for us, to talk about us even for 5minutes/week !!!! i can't continue like this i am flesh and blood i need other things.. i can discuss all of this with a friend. i need a husband, a lover and i am 35 i keep telling him time is running i need to enjoy my youth or enjoy my life before getting old--hope i didn't forget to answer any of your questions. thank you for your care and replies at least i am talking to someone here that is listening thanks again.
DAAIM
poster:DAAIM
thread:962047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/966113.html