Posted by violette on July 1, 2010, at 11:16:07
In reply to Re: blow out session with my T yesterday » Dinah, posted by deerock on July 1, 2010, at 10:20:38
" can have a conversation with her regarding using my anger in a helpful way but in some ways it feels like that should go unstated. thats her job. thats what she is being paid to do."
That's a point I was trying to emphasize with the analytic relationship. It's more than that with psychodynamic therapy-because therapy is a two-way relationship, she has to do more than "just her job" and interact with you relationally.
While it is a therapeutic relationship, and it is her job, she has to play the part of the other half in the relationship to allow you to experience insights, to challenge you, to promote change, rather than only 'listen'. She has no choice now but to channel the insights for you to see by directing you to see how she feels emotionally in the relationship, her emotional reactions to the devaluing--which could be necessay for the devaluing to stop. It is more than generalized anger-it could be anger in recognizing that she has emotional needs, rather than only you. Imo, that's what she is trying to address here. If you did not get your emotional needs met as a young child, if a parent did not recognize that you had emotional needs, you could have developed a pattern as a defense against feeling the pain.
I think the challenging is difficult for many of us patients. But it is, in my view, her 'job' to not just observe the anger-but to interact relationally. At least during this point in therapy. On the other hand, ruptures can sometimes permanently disrupt the relationship and trust is never regained. If you are still having difficulties with trust, that could be problematic when she is challenging you like this.
poster:violette
thread:952780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/952797.html