Posted by Daisym on September 27, 2009, at 0:30:31
In reply to Re: Need help understanding these tears, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2009, at 10:28:09
I've sort of stopped wishing he would hug me. There are momentary thoughts of course - like a session that it is really hard that would feel more complete with a hug. He acknowledges feeling that as well.
But at this point it has grown to symbolize the end. Because I *know* I will hug him when I'm ready to leave therapy. And leaving has so many meanings, including when I'm feeling suicidal. So it is OK that he doesn't.
I find I wish he'd hold my hand. Just this really simple thing - but that comes from a very young place. It is protective and not threatening. I've never asked him though.
*sigh* I still think this is one of those things that all therapists should disclose up front - do they, or do they not hug. That way the client just knows. It was a pretty painful episode for me to confirm that he did not. Not because of the rejection, although it did feel that way, but more because I was so mortified, like I should have know, I over-stepped, etc. I did tell him that.