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Re: She says it's chemical Tabitha

Posted by SLS on July 24, 2009, at 6:55:44

In reply to Re: She says it's chemical SLS, posted by Tabitha on July 24, 2009, at 1:23:02

> > For me, hope has lied in uncertainty, and logically so.

> Hope to me is thinking it's going to get better in a specific way,

My first impression of antidepressant drugs was that they work on 85% of people who go on to feel 100% better within 3 weeks. That just ain't so for the majority of people who come to visit Psycho-Babble. It can take months for the right treatment to bring someone to the point of remission. So far, I have had only one 6-month period of remission, and that was 20 years ago. It did work 100%, but it took 2 months to see dramatic results.

If you are convinced that a successful biological treatment would produce an improvement in depression/dysthymia, would it be helpful to have a series of alternatives laid out for you? I usually had 2-3 plans in place at any one time so that I would have the type of sighted hope that comes from logic.

> then that specific way doesn't happen, then I crash back into, "oh, I'm not going to get that. why did I expect it again?"

I still ride an emotional rollercoaster when something begins to work and than poops out. My curse (or gift) is that I have usually been an optimist. Each time one of these brief antidepressant responses occur, I assume that I have found the right treatment and I begin planning a new life. Then a few days later, I am bitterly disappointed and often become despondent.

> Maybe I need to learn some kind of less specific hope.

Sometimes, it just comes down to "blind hope". I do not have blind faith. For some reason, the term "blind faith" means to me that things are guaranteed to get better. Blind hope allows for uncertainty. I don't know how things might get better, but I just have hope that my life circumstances will improve, even if it is an improvement in my ability to function and enjoy the life that I have been granted in the moment.

I think the more one learns about mood disorders, the more hope that develops. There is so much research going on, it is hard to fathom that a set of treatments will not be found to treat them effectively.

I know all of this is much easier said than done. It really depends on the severity of one's mood illness. I see myself as having thresholds. At any given severity, there is a threshold of function beyond which very little can be accomplished. My threshold of function is higher now than it was 10 years ago because of drug treatment. Psychotherapy has helped me to actualize more of what my threshold will allow. I guess it comes down to focussing more on what can be done rather than what can't be done. I probably used this line already, but I try to use all of what little God has given me to work with. In order for that to happen, though, there needs to be the acceptance of my condition as it exists now.

My blind hope yields a belief in possibilities. To get to where I would like to be, I can't anticipate the exact path that will take me there. Perhaps this sort of approach will allow you to retain hope without defining a specific path on how to get there.

- Scott




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