Posted by rskontos on July 5, 2009, at 15:13:42
In reply to I think I'm done with T, posted by TherapyGirl on July 2, 2009, at 18:39:59
After reading all the posts and responses, the old saying "Can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind. She really can't see the harm she is doing on her clients, especially you, when she is not there and thinks she is. Denial is hard enough on other family/friends but when you are a professional dealing with others people lives and family like a therapist does it is so hard when they are psuedo-present.
I am so sorry for you that you must go through this, but hopefully, therapy has helped enough in the past and you have made enough progress that you can know when something is good or harmful.
I know that this is not the ending you hoped for and maybe one day she will emerge from her grief to realize the damaging effects this all caused.
But please do what you must to protect yourself. Her statements that she is saying to you is exactly what she would say to her daughter I think indicates that she is indeed trying to believe she is doing the right thing but she is not.
She really should realize as a therapist that if she says something and it hurts you then it was wrong. period. It would be one thing if this all occurred during an ongoing therapy relationship and it would eventually get all worked out but she is suppose to be helping you with the event of her retirement. Which means the relationship is coming to a close, things said then are so important being the last of a relationship and its ending for those in therapy is crucial. Crucial to your longterm benefit.
I don't think she can see all this and that saddens me for you. You have strengths that you must call on to help during this time and vent here as often as you need it.
If in your heart you feel going back for one more final meeting is wrong then do what your instincts tell you. I am not sure if you should or should not.
More hurt would be so hard and losing someone that has been there for you for so long is the hardest. I am sorry.
I wish you peace and some understanding in all this.