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Re: The message she left

Posted by muffled on July 8, 2009, at 21:36:39

In reply to Re: The message she left, posted by TherapyGirl on July 8, 2009, at 16:46:09

Mayhap I'll just be the devils advocate here.
But maybe your T just doesn't know what to do?
She is human, she's just a person who happenes to have some training, but she is not perfect.
Maybe there isn't an answer thats right in this whole miserable situation..
This whole thing just sucks all round.
This person has been your T for a very long time.
Its not really an average T relationship, and yet....she IS your T, NOT your friend. There is a HUGE difference....
Is she going to allow occasional contact, so that all is not lost? So that you can still know she is out there?
Maybe, in the distant future, things could be different, but not right now, not yet.
Its just a sad sad situation, I'm not sure what your T can do to make it any easier?????
I think the ball is in your court TG.
She will be gone.
Its going to hurt.
She will not be there to help you thru this.
You will need to gather up the tools she has helped you to find within yourself and deal with it.
If you can seek the help of others, then thats even better.
Cuz this is going to hurt.
Lots and lots.
24 YEARS.... :(
this is a huge but,
you CAN get thru this.
Life will go on. Maybe not the same, but there can be goodness. You can contribute to this world. Like you already have! by giving your dog a good home.
I hate to seem so cold, but I am not sure what more your T can do at this point cuz she will be gone.
She can't really BE your T anymore with this leaving hanging over the therapy.
I like what others said, bout that maybe give some space, and try and keep the good times intact. Maybe write to her to say thanks for what she has helped you with thru the years. That this is hard, that you will miss her. perhaps wish her well.
But thats bout it.
Its awful, but then there are alot of endings in life. They hurt, but we keep going, somehow.
We just keep going and try and do what good we can.
TG, I really feel bad for you, and your T cuz she cannot help but care for you, it must be hard for her too. But she is doing the ethical thing too. She is not saying 'lets be friends', cuz that very rarely actually works. Just causes more pain ultimately...
My old T, who I wasn't with very long at all compareds to you, but it hurt to leave her. But I still have occasional email w/her, and its OK now. I just am happy to know she is OK. I b*llsh*t her and say I am OK mostly too. I guess I am really.
But on I go.
And I hope on you go too TG.
I think from what I have gotten to know of you over the years(is it YEARS?!) that you have much to offer.
So mebbe you can just keep bumbling along like me, and we do what we can.
I have a new T, she is OK. We SLOWLY developing some sort of a...gasp...perhaps...dare I say....a relationship...UGH, albeit an odd one...
I wish you the very best.
Just trying to throw a different perspective in there for you.
Like as not, I am way off base, wouldn't be the first time.
I just know, for myself, that I really really appreciate it when others throw stuff in my lap to think about, even if it hurts. Even if its wrong, sometimes it helps to get me to thinking and figgering stuff out, moving ahead.
So thats all this is.
I dunno enuf to know wassup really.
Please take care,
I want you to be OK.
With all due respect and caring at this crazy hard time.




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