Posted by TherapyGirl on July 2, 2009, at 18:39:59
Here's what she said to me tonight:
"I've given a lot of thought to what you said last session (two weeks ago) about what I would say to my daughter and you know, the thing is, I would say to her exactly the same things I've been saying to you."
This is never, ever going to work. She can't be the person I need her to be through this transition. Which means I can't get what I need. I left her a message after my session canceling next week's session, with the idea that if, as I think, that is actually less excruciating for me, then I won't be back. I told her that she was not the same person since her husband died last fall and that I've kept waiting for her to come back, but that it's pretty clear to me now that it's not going to happen before she retires. And that the last thing I need is another one-sided relationship where I'm not getting what I need. I tried my best to not be manipulative or accusatory, but I've really just had it.
And oh yeah, her house sold in 4 days and she has to move in 3 weeks, so she might be "discombobulated" for a while. Just what she needs is to be MORE discombobulated than she is.
There's more that happened during the session, but the end result is the same so I won't bore you with the details.