Posted by Kath on February 23, 2009, at 17:49:24
In reply to Re: Is There Anyone Here In Love With Their Therap » sassyfrancesca, posted by wittgensteinz on February 23, 2009, at 16:32:22
My T is a woman. My counsellor at son's addiction services agency is also a woman.
I have had a man psychiatrist years ago & over the years, about 4 very short-term male counsellors.
I doubt I could ever feel truly emotionally safe with a male T.
A couple of years ago, when I first wanted to hug my T, I said at the end of the session, "Would you like a hug?" She stepped forward & we hugged & she chuckled & said so kindly, that if I wanted a hug or wanted to hug her, to say so for ME - not did she want a hug. Since then if I feel like hugging her, or getting a hug, I walk towards her as we both stand up at the end of a seession & we have a lovely hug. She is really nice.
Last week at the end of my session with the other counsellor - it was about my 5th or 6th visit - I felt really a lot of warmth to & from her. A part of me wanted to hug her but I just stood back from that part & smiled instead.
I think hearing more about transference, etc has made me feel somewhat uncomfortable.
Sassy, as to your situation, I tend to agree with Scott & Witti. I find it really hard to understand how it can be professional, or 'okay' for him to have things as they are.
At the same time, I respect your decisions & it seems that a part of you is right 'in' this, while another part stands back a bit & watches. (Sorry if I'm wrong & if this feels uncomfortable to you. I'm not trying to be condescending.)
I want only the best for you.
You've been hurt very badly in the past, I know. Maybe this structured, within certain boundaries type of situation with a man is all that feels safe to you at this point.
I admire that you can be so open with us.