Posted by yellowbird01 on February 16, 2009, at 20:43:28
In reply to Re: asking for support, coping skills (very long) » yellowbird01, posted by raisinb on February 16, 2009, at 10:33:14
Thank you raisinb... all very good advice. I cant imagine how painful that was for you, boyfriend and T gone together... I'm impressed at your ability to write so well about it not too long later.
I'm trying to act in healthy ways, even if it's uncomfortable. For whatever reason, this experience has reminded me of my first year of college, moving into the dorms. I was painfully shy at that point in my life but I remember forcing myself to participate in activities and hang out with others because I knew logically that those first few weeks were the time to do it, whether I wanted to or not, because you can never go back to that point. This feels similar. If I allow myself to wallow in the pain and feel sorry for myself constantly, I'll slip right back into being very "sick" (severely depressed) where I was a year or so ago, because that's easy for me. I dont want to go there. I've recently joined a gym yesterday, sent an email to someone about the possibility of volunteering at the SPCA, and talked to a few old friends. At the same time, I'm allowing myself to spend money without being so concerned over saving for a week or so (not being crazy, but not obsessing over $1). I've bought a lot of junk food that I always want but never allow myself to have in the house. I bought something new for my walls today without obsessing over whether it truly fits my decor or not... I just liked it. Those things all feel very good to me.
Having support from people here on babble helps and means so much. I still want my ex back in my life more than anything in the world, but I feel not quite as alone. Thank you.