Posted by Racer on December 13, 2008, at 18:29:10
In reply to My DH came to therapy with me today, posted by Partlycloudy on December 9, 2008, at 15:15:02
Sorry this is so late -- I haven't been reading much lately. (In my own circle of hell, but that's not the point of this post...)
I'm very impressed that your husband went with you, and that he seems to be trying to understand. AND even more impressed that he was sorry he didn't recognize the problem -- trust me, that's super-gigantic-enormous. He's a worthy husband to you, it sounds like.
I had a similar thing with my husband a few years ago -- the "I would have thought you'd notice wearing the same clothes and unshowered for three days" thing. We were talking about that with a counselor -- not our MC, not my T, but someone from That Agency, but this is one of the very few good things I got from that place: the counselor said that really wasn't enough, and had us work out some other sign. We chose moving a decorative object -- we chose one that lives on the television stand, so it would be more likely to be seen. It was a good idea, and I offer it up to you now. Maybe you can benefit from it, too.
And while I know that it's easy to forget the alternate interpretations when you're that depressed, I have to think that he didn't mean it was OK with him for you to stay sick -- I think he meant that he loved you and would stand by you, in sickness. That he didn't want to pressure you to recover, but would be patient while you were in that process.
I'm very sorry that you are in that pit, and wish I could do something to help you. Sending my best wishes to you, and much warmth.
poster:Racer
thread:867746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/868574.html