Posted by lucie lu on December 4, 2008, at 17:23:41
In reply to Re: Intense Tranference with my T, posted by OneGoodRoad on December 3, 2008, at 18:49:19
Welcome, One Good Road. I find it hard to call you OGR, because you seem anything but (an ogre). How about something like Good Road? Or just Good? My problem only - a rose by any other name should smell as sweet ;)
> Thanks everyone for your responses. To my surprise and delight, just having this support helped a great deal.
>
> I had another session today and we discussed the issue further and it seems she has calmed down quite a bit.. though she still sees a google search as an invasion of her privacy. I don't think she is gonna change on this one.
>
> She thinks I will do anything to not have to focus on my pain, which includes googling her!
>
> While I am here feeling that I am in love with her she contends that it is just me trying to cope with my pain. I know she is right. It is hard to let it go. So hard that I think it's impossible and how many times can I just bring up the same old stuff with my T?
>
> Confession: I have BPD and have gone off my meds. I told my T that I am not taking my meds and she is very concerned and says I am out of control right now. I will start my meds again tomorrow.Without knowing what meds you are on, I can say from experience that people in our lives often do feel uncomfortable if they know we've unilaterally stopped taking our regular meds. The problem is that it tends to make our actions and thoughts somewhat suspect - is it just the meds change talking? Your T does seem to be wanting to address some of these issues, which are significant ones to begin with - privacy, love, desires to merge, and pain, all within the context of your therapeutic relationship. And of course she will want to make sure that the meds are not a factor. You might do well to hold off on addressing the more sensitive issues until you are stabilized on the meds that you are supposed to be taking (or if you don't want these, deal with your pdoc about them, but don't ignore it). Then your T will probably feel more comfortable that she is talking to the you who is "you" and not an artifact of the med changes.
This is not to say that I don't believe that any of the things you have said are created by the medications! You must know from reading on this board how ubiquitous these issues are. It's just that your T will probably feel more comfortable discussing them if she feels you are not in a fluctuating state of mind.
Good luck, Good Road!
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:866324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866714.html