Posted by Wittgensteinz on November 25, 2008, at 13:50:46
In reply to Re: My T » llurpsienoodle, posted by Nadezda on November 24, 2008, at 23:03:06
Nadezda,
I really feel for you. This sounds such a sad situation. You've seen and experienced how the relationship can be healing and nurturing - and now it seems to have changed. I think the fact you experience a change is important to look at.
In your reply to Llurpsie, you pick up on a number of things that happen to have been going through my head a lot lately too. This question of - how much of it is *him* and his actions and how much of it is you and your transference? Is it your perceiving him as being X and if so why the change in the way you perceive/feel about him - OR - is it him behaving differently - an enactment perhaps - or is it a bit of both? The benefits of a long-term secure therapeutic attachment are obvious, but it brings with it the risk of an emotional enmeshment that is difficult to remove oneself from if things do or have turned sour. How to know when enough is enough or to continue and work through whatever phase this is? Have you experienced other times like this during your years with him in therapy - how did they resolve? Does he recognise that things have changed/moved on? Is this completely new? What answers does he have to offer in regards to the way he is making you feel? Does he take a responsibility in it? Is he open to this discussion? Or do you feel cut off and alone with it?
Maybe there is no way to 'know' why and what - it's just something you have to trust your instincts with whether or not enough is enough and time to move on. In any case, this doesn't sound like a snap reaction or rushed thinking on your part - I'm sorry you are facing this dilemma. I hope your T can in one way or the other bring clarity to the situation. Of course ideally I hope things resolve and you can both move on to better, more therapeutic times - that something 'clicks' - now that would be nice!
I'm sorry you're feeling pushed and pulled - both by the situation and through the pressure your T seems to be placing you under in regards to pride.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:864899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865207.html