Posted by Dinah on November 10, 2008, at 22:18:12
In reply to What is the Nicest Thing Your T Ever Said to You?, posted by sassyfrancesca on November 10, 2008, at 9:26:50
He's said so many nice things to me and about me. Some nice enough to make me anxious. Some too automatic to mean much.
He's very open about the fact that he cares for me, and that I mean something to him personally. Some of the things that he's said along those lines meant an awful lot to me. In part because I think he was reluctant to say them.
Mind you, he's also said some pretty hurtful things. Some that I think are probably true, some I think are misreadings on his part.
But I think I've always been most impressed with what I feel from him.
I gave him a promise not to try to kill myself without contacting him first because I saw him wince when I made a rather graphic mention. I tease him now that it was probably gas, and of course he doesn't remember the moment at all, but tries to hide the fact that he doesn't. I tease him, but honestly it was one of the nicest things I've ever experienced with him, and it was a turning point in our therapeutic relationship. Even if it was just gas.
There are those times when I surprise a laugh from him, or a look of appreciation at something I say. Something that tells me that in that moment he is enjoying being there with me, or that he really respects what I've said. Or even when he stretches out in his chair in obvious comfort and smiles at me in companionate silence, I feel like it's an enormous compliment.
The words can be nice, in the moment. They can even be scary and almost too nice. But the feelings are never scary. Or at least not scary in the sense of being too nice. Maybe the words come packed with expectations that I'm afraid I won't meet or assumptions that I feel I need to correct. But the feelings express something that is true in that moment, and that therefore have no expectations to frighten me.
But maybe I'm weird that way.
poster:Dinah
thread:862023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/862181.html