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Re: Very awkward experience » lemonaide

Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 9, 2008, at 17:06:12

In reply to Re: Very awkward experience » Wittgensteinz, posted by lemonaide on October 8, 2008, at 9:54:39

Hi Lemonaide,

Thanks for the reply - I hate the sessions just after my T returns from a vacation because I always feel so unsettled.

If I'm honest, I feel envious/jealous of his daughters. They looked so happy and pretty in the pictures (there was a montage of photos of them as young girls and as teenagers/young women) - they both are grown up and live away from home now. Perhaps I feel inadequate - I have difficulty with my self-perceptions. I'm jealous of how I imagine they were brought up, the loving, nurturing environment I didn't have. It's confronting. In a way I want my T to be my dad/parent (it's a childish desire - of course rationally I know it's a non-starter). I long for a protective father - someone who could have protected me from my mother.

I'm a bit younger than his daughters - I don't know that much about them to be honest. He has mentioned them a handful of times, which has never bothered me - it's always been of relevance when he has. Instead I am coming to someone else's dad's house and giving him flowers (in front of his wife)!

It just feels like there's too much in the room now - just me and T would be quite enough lol.

Witti

 

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