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Re: I am so distressed » lemonaide

Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2008, at 12:53:40

In reply to Re: I am so distressed » Dinah, posted by lemonaide on September 23, 2008, at 12:42:48

It means a lot to have you say that, Lemonaide. Thank you.

You know, my son just had to do a book report. He came to me with a dilemma. He was pretty sure what that the moral of the story was to keep trying, and not let adversity stop you from accomplishing your goal. But he said that even though the boy in the story accomplished his goal, he'd done some pretty stupid things to persevere. He was lucky he'd accomplished his goal and not gotten himself killed.

My therapy story was a lot like that. I persevered and stuck with my therapist when it was stupid to do so. Even knowing what I know now, I look back and think it was stupid and harmful for me to do that. Moreover, I did it more out of fear and attachment than because I knew that it would work out in the end. Even though it worked out, it didn't work out because of my good choices. I just lucked out.

I think that makes it neutral in deciding on a course of action. At least it leaves me with totally mixed feelings. I look back and have a bias because of my experience to think that an impaired therapist is more harm than good to a client during the period he is impaired. And yet I do have the experience of my therapist unimpairing himself and coming back to me, so I have a bias towards persevering too.

I'm no role model.

 

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