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Re: Wanting to connect about desire and transference

Posted by Daisym on July 19, 2008, at 20:00:45

In reply to Wanting to connect about desire and transference, posted by FindingMyDesire on July 19, 2008, at 2:28:59

I think telling anyone specifics related to sexual desires is scary. What if what you like, they don't? Or what if what you want makes you weird? Etc, etc.

Being able to fantasize is really more about you than the object you elect to embed in your fantasy. Try to remember that fantasies aren't real, and they aren't loaded with expectations. Just because you can conjure up something, and the verbalize it, doesn't mean you are asking your therapist to enact it with you. It means she is safe enough for you to explore what YOU want.

Arousal after intense sessions is pretty common but that doesn't make it less disconcerting. And when we are heard and accepted, especially after really hard disclosures, we long for comfort with and from the person who now understands. It is hard not to want to snuggle up next to them and just be held in those moments.

I agree with everyone else - tell her everything you are thinking and feeling. She will help you keep focused on you and explore what the shifts mean. Hopefully the closeness you feel will extend to your partner and maybe some of those fantasies too! :)

 

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poster:Daisym thread:840685
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/840877.html