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Re: I woke up with stupor llurpsienoodle

Posted by rskontos on May 15, 2008, at 9:38:18

In reply to Re: I woke up with stupor rskontos, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 14, 2008, at 5:51:27

Oh sweetie, it is so easy to be hard on yourself. I do see alot of progress and it is not easy to see it in yourself. And I don't have the answer to why when we falter we only remember the bad to undo the good times. I guess for some reason it is easier to remember the bad steps versus the good ones. You have been going so well. You got accepted in that post-doc program. You have two jobs lined up. You have so much you been doing and doing well. but I understand how hard it is to see the forest for the trees as I do that myself. It is much easier to bash ourselves for our failures than our progress probably because we learned that first and as children and we are trying to unlearn this and re-program ourselves as adults. That is tough. To parent ourselves while loving ourselves. Sounds practically impossible. But if we try it in small steps maybe we can do it. Just maybe.

So be kind to Llurspie, she deserves it. So you faltered. You will it won't be the first time. We all falter, fall, stand back up and move on. Just like babies learning to walk. Because in a sense we are babies learning a new skill.

And as for projecting he wants to punish you I guess this is another one of learned behaviors and you just maybe want to beat him to the punch. But I seriously doubt he wants to punish you. Once again, it is just something that needs to be unlearned. Tough but not impossible I hope.

And yes you will have to discuss the bill situation with him at some point. Just wait until you feel better if necessary maybe when you don't feel so emotional about it. I don't know. Or just spill the beans and let him help with it. You know as good a relationship as I sense between you two I think it will be ok. He has seen you in all your real senses, you know what I mean, messy, together all of them, so I think he will always be there for you so you don't have to always be together. That stress is way too much sweetie. Sometimes I get that sense from your posts that you want to seem really together for him, and I bet he always knows underneath it all how you really feel. I get the sense that he really understands. Sigh, you seem to have a really good T. I hope to find one someday.


Be kind to Ll day ok.





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