Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 23:27:47
In reply to Re:Guys what exactly does...., posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 22:46:10
At least partly because of his heavily mysterious manner.
And partly because I'm so afraid that it will happen again.
And I guess I'm angry that he can't manage to keep a stable life. If I can manage it, why can't he? He really doesn't seem to be able to. And it affects me and my therapy.
And I guess I'm scared because I fear that this will finally be the end.
I don't really want him to tell me the specifics. I understand his wanting to keep his stuff not only out of the therapy room for clients sake. But I also understand wanting to protect himself. If he's already in pain, he won't want that invaded by my fears and my pain. I am pretty sure he lied to me years ago when he got married. There was a congratulatory card on his desk signed by all his coworkers and he said it was for his birthday. It seemed an odd card for a birthday, and when he got married several months later, I realized he must have been protecting his happiness from my fears about how it might affect me. I understood that. I respected that. I can understand that even if he wasn't afraid it would be bad for me to know, that he wouldn't want me to know.
I guess I should be prepared to take a leave from therapy if that's best for me, but to not absolutely assume it will be necessary until I talk to him more.
I'm going to try to be reasonable.
I get so sick of being reasonable. And I get so sick of his making my being reasonable necessary.
poster:Dinah
thread:827491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827675.html