Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 22:37:12
In reply to Re:Guys what exactly does.... » Dinah, posted by sunnydays on May 6, 2008, at 21:18:09
Well, we did discuss it pretty thoroughly today.
Now I'm in the same position he was in. He said he didn't know how much he should tell me, and I'm not sure how much I should say here since it's not my stuff. And he apparently decided he shouldn't tell me what's going on, because he didn't. In the past he's been pretty open about telling me a brief summary of what might affect our sessions.
He did say it wasn't something that would clear up in a few sessions. That it was a long term problem.
He said he was doing his best to keep his stuff out of the therapy room, but that he should have known that wouldn't work with me.
Then he got stuck on whether he should tell me or not, and missed my point that I wasn't trying to be intrusive. I wasn't asking him to spill anything he'd rather not spill. But I was asking him to be genuine with me *in the moment*.
I learned enough that my guesses aren't wild ones. The only thing I might be leaping to unfounded conclusions about is that it is marital, because that's my worst case scenario, and I tend to leap to worst case scenarios.
I suppose he should at least answer what impact this may have on long term prospects of continuing therapy, and be honest that that aspect of it might influence how willing I might be to live through the frustration and loss again. Although honestly, I'm not feeling that willing right now.
I don't need to know what's going on with him. It might be nice not to worry that it means termination.
The trouble is that he's scrupulously honest. And the answer to that question will probably be that he doesn't know. That it might mean termination, but that he doesn't know. That's his answer to almost any question of that sort.
I know I'm feeling extra vulnerable because of not so distant past experience. But I think my fears about this aspect of what's going on are pretty well grounded in reality. Both of past experience and of what he said about it not being a short term problem.
He said he doesn't want me to quit over it, and I believe him. And he says he'll do his best, and I believe him.
I just don't know if that's good enough.
poster:Dinah
thread:827491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827660.html