Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

I can't do it again. I just can't. And I won't.

Posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 12:00:46

After Katrina, I spent a year begging for my therapist to be present and engaged with me. Demanding it. Doing everything I could do to facilitate his being present and real and engaged with me.

I've noticed lately that he's been quite the professional therapist. I think I mentioned it in another post. Boundaries firmly in place. Warm and empathetic and attentive. And totally superficial and fake. I brought it up today thinking that something I did may have caused this. I brought it up in terms he came up with for the difference. Therapist X rather than X the Therapist. Of course he didn't remember, but that makes no difference. He eventually understood what I meant. And while he didn't disclose anything specific, he let me know that it was something going on with his life, that he didn't know if he could do any better than he was already doing, and that he didn't know when or if it was going to go back to normal.

He's not doing anything wrong. He's being the perfect therapist. But I can't go through this again. I can't spend more months begging for his genuine presence.

I offered today to let him off the hook. I told him I thought that as long as I continued to see him, I was going to bug him about being present and genuine. And that maybe it was best if he just called me when he was feeling himself again.

I think next time I'm going to be stronger in that statement. I'm going to tell him to contact me when he feels he can be present and engaged again, because I just can't do this again.

Perhaps not coincidentally I told him recently that I worried about his falling apart again like he did after Katrina. But I think he misunderstood. What I meant was his difficulty engaging.

And if one of the possible scenarios causing his distress is true, it could well lead to him leaving the area. So why should I put myself through a repeat of that very upsetting and even traumatizing time only to be *terminated*?

I just can't do it again. And I won't.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:827491