Posted by raisinb on May 6, 2008, at 12:47:00
In reply to I can't do it again. I just can't. And I won't., posted by Dinah on May 6, 2008, at 12:00:46
Oh Dinah, I know exactly how you feel. I can't tell you how many times my therapist and I have gone around and around about this issue. It's so difficult because they *are* being perfect. You can't point to anything they've *said* or *done.* But you know you aren't getting the real person. And it hurts, badly, because you know what getting the real, passionately engaged person is like. And it sounds like that's what is healing to you (as it is to me), not all the technically perfect things that they are supposed to do.
I don't know what to tell you to do :( except to keep telling him. I think it's fine to say you can't come for awhile, unless that would hurt you more than coming when he isn't fully there would. Explain to him exactly how it feels to get the professional rather than the person. Explain how much it hurts (I had some success explaining this to my therapist yesterday). She wouldn't listen to attacks or demands, but she did respond to my explanations of how her demeanor affected me (I think--we will see).
As for him terminating you, it sounds from your post like that is unlikely? So even though it is a horrible thought, can you just see if that becomes more likely and deal with it when the time comes?
poster:raisinb
thread:827491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/827501.html