Posted by fleeting flutterby on April 7, 2008, at 10:12:01
In reply to Something hard to talk about, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2008, at 9:49:08
>> So I brought it up with my husband again, and asked if he meant he was jealous of my therapist as a man, or like he was of my dogs. And he said something like that he was just sorry that I was so in need of help, and that he wasn't able to give it to me. It's hard to describe but it sounded vaguely insulting to me. But my husband tends to say vaguely insulting things to me, so that was no big deal.<<
Please excuse me if I'm way off-- I'm quite new here and may not be familiar with all your situation. What caught my eye was the paragraph above-- I've heard men, in general, when in relationships, like to know they can fix things. Maybe your husband feels bad about that-- the fact that HE is not what can "fix" you. so in that he feels flawed somehow............
>
> In so many ways he's a wonderful husband to me, and has the complementary qualities that make our marriage successful. But he's hypercritical of everyone, including himself. He'd be the first to admit that and is in fact rather proud of it. And he's a pillar of crackling electricity that occasionally sends off sparks.<<hmmmmmm..... hypercritical even of himself..... maybe he feels he's not good enough since he isn't able to make you feel better on his own....
could it be that he is feeling a bit insecure- feeling he's not ALL that you need? (I've heard some men like to be the "end all"- the "everything" for their partners) *shrugs*-- maybe I'm way off-- just thought I'd share what I thought from your post.
wishing you inner peace
fl.flutterby
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:822011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/822013.html