Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2008, at 21:43:42
In reply to had a really horrible session today *long*, posted by raisinb on March 27, 2008, at 18:38:20
Even now I get those mixed messages. And my therapist has been really clear that he cares about me, and that I'm special to him.
Yet there are sessions where he draws his boundaries up, or asks stupid and insensitive questions to question why it's important to me that he care about me. Or waxes eloquent on why boundaries are so important to protect therapists.
I try to keep context in mind. And that might come into play here. The context was discussing an insurance problem. She's likely to slip into a more businesslike mode at times like that, for reasons that might have nothing to do with you. My therapist gets a bit uncomfortable with talk of money. Maybe she does too. Or maybe she's angry with the fact that insurance people are dictating what's best for you, when she feels she's in the best place to make that decision.
I wouldn't worry too much about words. My therapist had always, until fairly recently really, been very careful to use words that could mean anything, and thus meant nothing. He didn't want to say anything that could be misleading, so he settled for confusing. What she does is more important than what she says. (Although hearing it is admittedly very nice.)