Posted by seldomseen on December 14, 2007, at 7:15:44
In reply to t said the F word possible trigger ?, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 13, 2007, at 18:44:38
Ah forgiveness... SUCH a sticky wicket!
For me there was no doubt that searching for the ability to forgive was central, although it probably shouldn't have been.
I realized early on that the people that really hurt me did so because they were sick (I mean as in truly mentally ill), didn't know any better or were never exposed to any thing different.
Because I hit that realization so early, I think it substantially hindered my progress in therapy because I had to hold two opposite viewpoints simultaneously. It's almost as though it blocked my ability to process what happened to me.
I could never be truly mad at them as it was always tempered with "well they were sick and blah blah blah". It was hard to grieve what happened to me because it was all so fr*gg*ng understandable.
It definately put the burden of being selfless on me at a time when I should have been my most selfish.
There will be times when you are just blanched with rage and there will be times when you are crippled with grief and it's all okay. There may even be times when your heart is bursting with understanding and forgiveness.
So, if you consider forgivness to be goal in your therapy, I would definately try to view it as a process and not an event.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:800632
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800727.html