Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 13, 2007, at 18:44:38
actually, he said TWO f words.
He was talking about what it's like to be attracted to someone. He said that indulging in most attractions is likely to end in a "f*ck*ng disaster" I was laughing so hard. so was he. he's a funnyT.
Then he used the OTHER f word.
FORGIVENESS.
He said that I probably have to forgive my dad if I'm going to be able to get past the past. I'm still trying to figure this one out.
different levels of personal responsibility
-an accident
-a mistake
-an intentional act with unknown consequences
-an intentional act with known consequences
-sadismWell, what if it were an accident. would I have to forgive? who's in the wrong? me? I feel like if I forgive someone then I absolve them of responsibility and then it becomes my fault. Like I become more tarnished via forgiving them.
I just don't GET IT. and it makes me really upset that people left and right are like "GET OVER IT". T says that what dad did was wrong. wrong like a mistake, or an intentional act with unknown consequences. I hold dad more accountable. How can I forgive something that isn't even acknowledged.
It makes me mad.
yeah. so, it must be a big deal, because I tried to steer the discussion away from it, and he brought it up AGAIN. I think this is unprecedented. he's pushing me pretty hard to do this thing that I don't wanna do.
At the end of the session, I told him that it would be my last until january, he looked concerned and said "are you going to be okay" "I guess. I've been through some pretty hard stuff" he still seemed concerned. I think maybe he was pushing me too hard, but didn't realize it. but i came home and was crying.
I feel like such a whiny brat "but I don't wanna..."
and some other unrelated stuff. I will post below.
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:800632
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800632.html