Posted by llurpsienoodLe on November 22, 2007, at 11:33:51
In reply to Re: this has been coming on for a couple days now, posted by Muffled on November 21, 2007, at 23:44:27
> Can it be any worse to tell it to your T, than having it eat at you from the inside? Maybe it is time to let some light into the dark.I don't want to have a full-on melt-down in front of T. My early childhood taught me not to cry. It was very reinforced. For me crying in front of T is pretty terrifying.
> And LL. You SO not cold and callous, you are just protecting yourself.
T said that my lack of pity for my dad is not because I'm heartless, but rather because I still have a lot of anger towards him. I have never been able to master my anger towards dad and brother. I direct it inwards, or towards my mom.
> It can be OK, I am sure of this. You made it this far.
> I dunno why people are so worried bout forgiving people and stuff. Maybe sometimes its best to let them go....
> Not a bad thing maybe, but maybe necessary? I dunno.Let them go is one thing. wanting them to die is another. With my dad being so decrepit and sick letting him go is tantamount to wanting him dead.
> I just want you to be OK LL.
> I want you to understand that you have worked VERY hard to get as far as you have.
> I think you got what it takes to keep going thru this crap.
> Please phone your T as necc, and/or take a page from B2 story, and if it ever gets bad enuf, hosp is NOT the end of the world...Yeah, B2C has a good story. She inspires me. She's a strong woman.
I told my T that I would cut out the acting-out sh*t about a month ago, and I haven't hurt myself since then, so I think I'm getting stronger
> Take good care,
> Hope I not say dumb stuff.NEVER!!!
-Ll
> (((((((((((((((LL)))))))))))))))
> Muffled
poster:llurpsienoodLe
thread:796467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/796541.html