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Re: Forced Termination and Hatred *Trigger SI*

Posted by Maria01 on September 1, 2007, at 10:39:02

In reply to Forced Termination and Hatred *Trigger SI*, posted by ForeverWounded on August 31, 2007, at 5:27:36

Wow. His actions are just....wrong. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I would encourage you to share with him what you had told us with respect to your feelings only if it feel safe for you to do so.
I went thru a forced termination last May when after a difficult session, the intern I was working with announced in the following session that "some of my stuff is triggering too much of her stuff"(technical term: countertransference), gave me about 20 minutes to discuss it, and I was out the door with a form letter from her and her supervisor. That was it. Min you, my "stuff" isn't too much at all in the grand scheme of things, so it's safe to assume she probably shouldn't even be practicing.

I was fortunate enough to find another T and work it thru with her. One thing that helped was some artwork: I had taken a copy of the term. letter, and made it look like a cookie-cutter form letter(which it was) and put all kinds of snarky comments on it. I was definitely bummed, but I didn't want the situation to get the best of me, or let some little intern's(she was actually middle-aged) crappy actions dictate how I felt about myself and the situation. That would have been giving it way too much power over me, and I'm stronger than that. The final coup de grace was getting invoiced for hours that were previously pro-bono. (this was a non-profit in my town that would occasionally do pro-bono work. I had lost my job as a vet assistant, and my Honda got stolen, so money was very tight).

I guess all I can offer is do whatever it will take to get this out of your system, short of self-destruction. Don't let this situation win out over everything else. Use the next couple of months to really vent your spleen about his; if he can't handle it, it's his problem. Hopefully, once the dust settles, you will find you are better off without him. My forced term. made me sadder and wiser, but I'm much better off; my prior T was just too inexperienced and emotionally unstable. She just needs to sit at home and play with her grandbabies and not practice. Sounds like your guy needs to be in a different field altogether, too.




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