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i think one of my inner kids..**TRIGGER**

Posted by B2chica on August 23, 2007, at 11:40:35

i think one of my inner kids
wants to kill me.
i've been having S thoughts. i'm kinda down...but it's the intrusive negative thoughts that are really getting to me.
it's not even that i feel bad enough to want to end my life...but it's almost like i have someone in my head saying...'you must do it', you need to die', 'you've GOT to end it!'
i don't feel it warrants a hospital visit as i feel i have control enough yet to NOT act on these thoughts...but they hurt.

they started off REALLY strong this morning and here at work it's a little better cuz i can distract, but ANYtime there is a lull in work wham...there they are.

last week...or wait this week...whenever, at therapy my teen came out for the first time. i'm guessing these feelings are kind of a left over, or overflow from that???
i don't know.

but my call out is for help...advice. i'm not sure what i need to do.
i mean normally thinking of my little girl helps but even this morning it was like she's further and further away in my mind. that these thoughts are taking up most of my mind and discarding all my normal 'helplers'.
i don't really want to call my T cuz i don't feel like its a 911 kind of thing.

but i am getting more and more scared.
can i have some advice please




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poster:B2chica thread:778035