Posted by DAisym on August 14, 2007, at 2:04:37
In reply to Re: ***** Long, tedious and triggery ***** » Honore, posted by Tamar on August 13, 2007, at 18:51:08
You know, your posts are neither tedious nor too long...
This is hard for me because I wish for you something so different than what you have. But I'm also glad that you love your therapist - and I think one of the gifts of therapy is feeling love, of really knowing inside yourself, "I can love." Because being able to love someone else, shortcomings and all, is an immensely healing thing to do.
But when the love binds us to someone or something that consistently causes us pain, then I think we have to ask ourselves if this is how God intended love to be spent.
And despite what you said about not being an expert, you have a pretty good grasp of the concepts Transference and countertransference, so much so that I wonder if you aren't really too busy "curing" yourself to see what the reality is. It *sounds* like it isn't good for you. It sounds like the whole thing is painful. I think you deserve better.
And I'll ask a question based on historical knowlege of your journey -- are you asking him to be something he isn't? Didn't he not do this kind of therapy and you talked him into it? You were in therapy with him before and didn't go deep. What made you think it would be different this time?
My final, and harsh question is: what are you getting by remaining locked into this battle of wanting relationship discussions from him? What are you able to avoid talking about?
poster:DAisym
thread:775888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/776145.html