Posted by Racer on June 24, 2007, at 15:50:03
In reply to Perfectionism, posted by Poet on June 24, 2007, at 11:54:49
"Good enough never is."
THAT, my treasured friend, is a really damaging way to see the world. Hm... I'll bet you can think of others you might know -- and claim to like -- who have that problem, too.
Other than SSRI-related apathy, which seems to be working pretty well for me these days -- well, maybe "working" isn't the right concept -- there are some things that can help with this sort of thinking. For one thing, I remind myself constantly that if nothing is ever Good Enough, I'll never experience any real pleasure, any real satisfaction. And I like to experience pleasure AND satisfaction. One thing I've gotten pretty good at is looking at smaller chunks. The whole dress doesn't need to be perfect in every detail to be Good Enough -- if the way the sleeves are sewn in makes me happy, makes me proud of myself, that's Good Enough.
Wanna know how well it's worked so far? I made myself a skirt, and not only did I say, "I did a good job on this, and am proud of the results" to my T and my husband, I even said it to my MOTHER! AND I didn't qualify it when I said it. THAT, my dear, was one heckuva'n accomplishment.
Now, ask me if I felt authentic saying it? Weeeeellll.... What I felt was nervous. It was hard to say it, but that was mostly about SAYING it, not MEANING it. It is possible to learn to mean that when you say it. And it's also possible to learn to say it.
So, darling one, how about picking something small, something less significant, and saying, "I did that well, and I am proud of my accomplishment." Just for practice?
If you practice for a while, you can be pretty darn good at it in a short time. I promise. And you know I *AM* perfect!
xoxo
poster:Racer
thread:765379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/765446.html