Posted by Dory on June 4, 2007, at 8:44:23
In reply to Re: Daisy??, posted by DAisym on June 4, 2007, at 0:03:38
i'm under a new name and for safety i can't just directly say who i was... but a clue might be that i think you are gracious. ;-)
you said you either have to get over it all and have a relationship with your family or stay angry and not have those relationships... that is false logic.
It seems to me, and forgive me if i am wrong, that you do in fact want relationships with your family. And if the bulk of the hurt and anger are about the past then i would be hesitant to tell you not have a relationship... BUT you don't have to "get over it"... that is a false concept that will lead you around in a circle of despair. You would need to make peace with it. You would need to find out how to lift yourself above the mire they sank you into. You need to find the strength within yourself to love yourself and not still see yourself through the filter they gave you. Making peace and forgiveness is not the same as saying it was all ok, or anything like that. It's about nurturing yourself and healing the hurt..which allows you to move through and out of the anger.
it allows you to step into that gracious and beautiful spirit we see here. You move into a place at which the fear inspired by the past has no hold on you and you begin to have *different* relationships with your family in which you set different limits and expectations. You develop compassion for yourself.
be good to yourself.. you're doing an amazing job.
oh.. and one more thing, positive self talk
much love and peace
poster:Dory
thread:761101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/761152.html