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creating a space - a Llurpsiedome

Posted by gazo on May 26, 2007, at 17:29:34

In reply to crying my face off... oh god, posted by gazo on May 26, 2007, at 10:23:19

i am trying.. between the bouts of sobbing to create a small space of comfort, a little bubble. i bought an air conditioner but have no idea how to install it.. i think it needs one circuit to itself which means i'll have to re-arrange the whole apt. i am not up to that so for now it makes an odd decoration on the floor of my living room.

i bought lindt chocolate truffles and a piece of tira misu. Later i am going to drink my bottle of wine. i'm making a pizza for supper. all the stuff i can't have rolled into one big meal. it's called comfort food for a reason.

i'm supposed to work that job tomorrow and i will, but i think it will be my one and only shift. i see one of my docs on monday and i think he will cut that job short asap. i just spent an hour on my feet at walmart and i am in pain. :o(

wine whine.

crying again. i thought a lot about what my pdoc said about me pulling an anna nichole if i wasn't careful.

why do we all do this? why do we all think it's so important to keep going? what for? i'm reading "stumbling on happiness" and the guy (a psychologist) basically says that happiness is a transient delusion.. life is so harsh that happiness is a denial of the way things really are.

i need this to stop. i need the pain to stop.

walk dogs. cool shower. pizza. place decorative cloth over air conditioner bits. make calimochos. eat chocolates and tira misu. drink more calimochos. eat klonopin. watch junk TV. hang out in chat. drink more. pass out.

sleeping on my above street patio because my new air conditioner doesn't love me.


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poster:gazo thread:759621
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070525/msgs/759681.html