Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 2, 2007, at 16:12:57
I know if I weren't so medicated that I'd be suicidal right now. I've just turned something in that is not quite perfect. It's just a draft. But it's not quite perfect. I don't know how to make it perfect.
Strong part of me wants punishment right now.
Good thing I'm medicated, huh?
I apologize for being lame non-supportive Noodle lately. I've been quite dizzy from all the stuff that needed doing. All the family drama. Which continues to unfold as we come to believe that another in our family is psycho like me and not seeking treatment. resisting treatment.
I'm happy to end the culture of silence that predominates my family. I've cultivated it for so long that to break those rules, like telling family member that s/he needs help. like telling mom about the bad things that continue to affect her beloved daughter.
Truth will set you free. but sometimes feels more like free-falling.
I didn't communicate too well with my doctor today. I wanted what he couldn't give me. (general anaesthesia) and he told me to do something else instead. Now I'm just waiting. Can't belive that... Well. I'm just in shock on so many levels.
I don't know where to start, or where to end.
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:755242
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/755242.html