Posted by Daisym on April 25, 2007, at 13:00:27
In reply to Re: Lots of stuff coming up, posted by pegasus on April 25, 2007, at 9:03:18
I just had this long conversation with my therapist about states and the need for others to mirror states, particularly when we are young. The need to know that you are held in another's mind and that your feelings, good and bad, can be contained, is vital to the development of the self. Usually parents and children do this dance in infancy and it continues as the child grows. I'm sure you've seen it in your own daughter - if she gets wildly excited - she turns to you for regulation, "is this OK mom?" or even, "help me calm down a little" - and you mirror for her the excitement she is feeling (or fear, or whatever) and then you bring her down with your voice, or a touch or a look. When ever there is an onslaught of new feelings and sensations, we need some help sorting those out. And I can see how a 10 year old would be feeling and thinking all kinds of new, prepubescent kinds of conflicts. The "who am I? Who am I supposed to be? Is it OK to be me? Can anyone see what I'm struggling with?" questions are huge at this age. It makes a lot of sense that this is the part that needs to know she is special and unique to your therapist.
I get tired too when my brain doesn't want to consider all of this stuff. I hope you rested well.
poster:Daisym
thread:751475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/753280.html