Posted by frida on April 8, 2007, at 16:13:15
In reply to Re: Whats the point..????????????????????????????? » frida, posted by gazo on April 8, 2007, at 16:01:09
Hi Gazo,
Thanks for expressing your opinion.
If it were for the money, I don't represent any real benefit for my T , i pay her much much less than her usual fee and she waits for me, i can't afford it and i pay her what I can.
I see it differently...
she needs to make a living as well.
But if it were only for the money, she could have stopped seeing me years ago, because I can't afford paying.If I look at her and she cries for me or tries so hard to help when I don't even let her..and she does things she receives no benefit from....i do feel it's love on her part. I don't doubt her feelings.
I don't think it's transference. We've shared 7 years, and she has told me that we've both put so much into this relationship..so much of ourselves. She has really tried to help and she's done things that really make me feel it's true and real. She has no benefits if she says with me beyond our time because I'm not ok...or if she devotes time to me in between sessions outside our regular time...and if she doesn't get paid regularly.
She's the only person in my whole life that has made me feel I'm worthwhile and who has made me feel loved for who I am, no matter what.
She explains to me in a way I believe it..and I can see it in her actions. She does things she doesn't have to do as part of "her job".and after all this time, she's very open too about her own feelings and how she views things.
On a different level, I am a teacher and I can say that even though I get paid for teaching, there are some students that I love with all my heart, and that I've kept in touch along the years and are part of my life now that I'm no longer their teacher.
My T gives me safety and I see I touched her life as well..She tells me so.
I don't know, it's hard to explain...
but I do feel it's love. I trust my T and she tells me she does love me. I have no reasons to believe she's lying to me. She knows lies would just kill me.
Frida
poster:frida
thread:747905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748154.html