Posted by wishingstar on April 8, 2007, at 14:48:38
In reply to Re: Whats the point..???????????????????????????????, posted by inimitable on April 8, 2007, at 14:37:26
I think it's still possible for Ts to care about us even though it's just their job. I dont think they generally care in the same way as they care about their best friend or spouse or anyone else they "love", but I do think they can care.. and even feel love.
I feel like I've been suddenly thrown into a new way of seeing this by starting my new job. I'm working basically as a counselor. I'm still new and dont have relationships with any clients that are as deep or long-standing as most of the relationships here... but I can honestly say I do care about my clients. I really do. Some more than others.. but even my hardest one, the one that I prefer the least.. I do care about him and I think about him from time to time. I wouldnt say I love any of them right now, but I can see how I potentially could if I worked with them long enough. But even so, my clients feel like theyre in a totally different category of my life. The caring feels totally genuine, but different somehow from the caring I have for others in my "real" life. But really, the distinction between "real life" and "work" isnt really a real split, I dont think. If I spend 3 hours with a kid.. yes, I'm in a different mindset.. but it's still part of my real life. If he/she says something very close to home, my own issues get triggered and I feel things that are very "real" to me. (I have one client who triggers me to want to SI all the time!) They intersect in so many different ways its impossible to seperate them, I think.
I guess the bottom line from all that rambling is that yes, I think they can genuinely care.There is some seperation though, and that is what allows them to go home at night and not cry over our issues or stay up at night worrying.. and what allows them to do things that are hurtful to us sometimes, if they feel its the most therapeutic.. of course theyre not always right!! but there is value in that seperation. I really do believe it's necessary.
If a client told me they loved me or cared about me, I think I would feel good about that. It would matter to me that theyd said it. I have one client who has told me that she likes "hanging out with me" several times and it really does make me feel good. But I still dont kill myself with worry over her problems, even though they are quite serious, and I do genuinely care about her.
Rambling. I hope that made some sense.
poster:wishingstar
thread:747905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748121.html