Posted by Daisym on April 6, 2007, at 18:47:07
In reply to Re: 10derheart... (long!) » littleone, posted by 10derHeart on April 6, 2007, at 13:13:05
>>>>>Something like....{deep breath} things around loathing my physical self (weight issues) body image stuff, how bad I really feel in that way and no one knows, where that comes from, and can we change that - even in tiny, baby steps. And to go further...well, how that's directly connected to my grief and sadness of having no sig other in my life for years, and the terror of wondering if I ever will, and the loneliness I try to avoid feeling and rarely acknowledge, and and....never being touched affectionately and so on by anyone for so long......(did you read Daisy's thread about touch on Social - I posted over there. it's ---wow---just wow---)
<<<<<We've kind of talked about this before here, but it is so true that the body image stuff is super hard to talk about. I always ask myself, "what? You think he can't see what you look like, even behind the couch pillows?" Why can't we believe that people will value us, even when there is too much of us, externally at least? Or an even bigger question, knowing how well I do projects, why can't I make myself a project and do better with me? I've sort of decided that I don't like having a body so while I'll dress it up and take it out, I don't really want to acknowledge it, and I can't work on it and ignore it at the same time.
I looked into touch therapy a little bit. We have someone here who does holding therapy - the head and the neck - no movement, just gentle firm holding. It is an interuterine thing, but it makes a lot of sense. But I just can't. I'm not ready to make myself do it yet. I wish I had a grandmother whose lap was available. I have taken Racer's advice about the cats though. I make a point to sit with one of them on my lap every night for awhile. It helps.
I'm glad littleone enticed you to post. Isn't she sweet?! And I'm glad you posted. It is nice to hear from you. Keep pushing yourself, Tender. You are doing really good work. And I hope your therapist heals up quickly and with little pain.
poster:Daisym
thread:746947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/747657.html