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Re: 10derheart... » 10derHeart

Posted by littleone on April 9, 2007, at 20:27:00

In reply to Re: 10derheart... (long!) » littleone, posted by 10derHeart on April 6, 2007, at 13:13:05

>Part of me says, 'why it is nice? I mean, why would anyone care if they read posts by me or not? I have no significance.' Then, other side argues back, 'well, you feel just like that about others here, so why not believe the same about yourself, too? It's the same thing - in reverse!' And so the argument goes, but I'll tell you, that first voice is getting weaker and less convincing these days.

I’m glad it’s getting weaker. It *is* really hard to turn around (and believe).

>Didn't know you were part of my therapy....did you? Or....did you? hmmmmm.....;-)

:) I think babble is an important part of therapy. Like how daisy says it’s her real group. It is a good place to test things out. Still scary, but safer than some of the other alternatives.

> and a new granddaughter to babysit some days (yeah!)

You’re a grandma?!?!?!? I had no idea. Your posts sound a lot younger than that. That must be proof that you’re young at heart :)

> We had good talks about how I hate that the dr. has to "hurt him to help him," and I want to protect him, sort of like you would a child, from ALL forms of pain. That always gets really intense but he is great about it. Makes me feel totally fine abut saying it, and accepts those feelings so gracefully. He has a perfectly calm, convincing way of reminding me, "Your feelings don't and won't hurt me. Any of them, no matter what. They're important and I want to know about them."

He sounds like a real keeper. I know that when my T needed some hearing tests I started drawing pictures of a little me putting band aids on his ears. There is definitely a part of me that wants to take all bad things away from him. I have dreams of rescuing him and protecting him. Did your T talk about your need to protect him and take away his pain? Is it a sign of your caring for him, or is there more to it than that?

>Something like....{deep breath} things around loathing my physical self (weight issues) body image stuff, how bad I really feel in that way and no one knows, where that comes from, and can we change that - even in tiny, baby steps. And to go further...well, how that's directly connected to my grief and sadness of having no sig other in my life for years, and the terror of wondering if I ever will, and the loneliness I try to avoid feeling and rarely acknowledge, and and....never being touched affectionately and so on by anyone for so long......

They are biggies, aren’t they. It was good that you could spell them out so clearly here. It’s hard to believe that such a small neat paragraph could hold so much work. Well, now *we* know about you feeling bad about your body image, so that’s one little baby step forward. It sounds like it will be a very tough balancing act to understand the loathing and respect why it’s there vs accepting yourself/body and even learning to like yourself/body. Very tough, but definitely do-able.

>(did you read Daisy's thread about touch on Social - I posted over there. it's ---wow---just wow---)

No, social scares me and upsets me. Could someone maybe post a link to that thread?

>That kind of deep, deep stuff. Hard to even contemplate going there - makes me feel so vulnerable. Been circling around toward these things for years and now am there, but....it's scary even with this great of a T.

It may be very scary, but you can do it. It sounds like you have some good trust with this T and he’s very safe for you. Growth only comes through risk. And this sounds like a safe risk to take, you know? Trust in your T, he will help you along.

>wow - guess I really *did* want to tell someone what I need to be talking about in T. Thanks for giving me permission :-)

You’re welcome :) I’m glad you shared.

 

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poster:littleone thread:746947
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748578.html