Posted by sunnydays on December 13, 2006, at 22:11:54
In reply to Re: I don't know...(sorry, really long!), posted by peddidle on December 13, 2006, at 21:35:23
> > Go ahead and email her. I took a risk and started emailing my T, and now I do it a lot. It helps.
>
> **I've emailed her before, once at the end of last summer because I wasn't going to be back until the spring and I wanted her advice. It's strange now that I think about it, I hadn't really been seeing her for that long, and I didn't have a really strong bond with her at that point, and I obviously hadn't seen her since May, but I still felt like I needed her advice.**** Good. That shows you had already built a connection with her and trusted her advice at least somewhat. Of course she's an important person to you now.
>
> This semester, I've only emailed her about appointments, or when she's specifically asked me too.****** Wow... If I could go back to those days... I email my T multiple times a week, which is probably not the norm, but he's great about it. My file is HUGE, though.
>
> >
> > Also, I can sooo identify with the feeling of missing your T over break. I have one, possibly two more appointments before my break, but I will miss him terribly.
>
> **I feel for you. How long will you have to go without an appointment over break?**** Almost a month. It'll be hard, but I'll get to see a friend over break and that will make it easier.
> **You're right, she didn't have to offer at all. Maybe it was just the way she said it, not her tone of voice or anything, just the fact that I was literally on my way out the door... it kind of seemed like an after-thought.
***** It may have been an afterthought, but sometimes it could be just because she really hadn't thought maybe you would need encouragement and then decided you did. We've had plenty of babblers on here who didn't call their T's for ages, only to find out later that the T assumed they knew it was perfectly okay to call.
Plus, I don't want to be that annoying person who calls/emails for the tiniest thing, because, obviously she has her own life too.
****** Ha. Yeah, I'm that annoying person. But my T doesn't check his work email at home ever, so I know I'm only bothering him at work. And he says it's not a bother and that it doesn't really take a lot of time out of his day to read an email. And that I don't intrude on his home life, that he's very good of taking care of himself and keeping work and home separate. I bet your T is too. I think most Ts have a system of self-care for themselves. Besides, you'd be emailing her once, right? That's not every little thing. You could even ask her in the email if it was ok, to give her the opportunity to tell you.
[sidenote: do you ever wonder if your T thinks about you, or any of his other clients, outside of the office? I had told my T about this one drink that I like because it's really pretty...it's pretty hard to miss it on the shelf in the liquor store...so she told me that she always sees it when she goes to the liquor store and thinks of me. haha But I wonder if she thinks of me other times too.]
****** Yeah, I wonder all the time. In some ways I hope he doesn't, because I don't want to intrude on his life, but at other times I hope he does, because then I know I've made a difference in his life somehow and that he'll remember me.
I think I'm also afraid to become (more) dependent on her.
***** Yeah, that's a big one for me. Dependency is hard, and it's something you have to struggle with, especially if your family, like mine, didn't teach you that dependency can be healthy. Or at least, my T says it can be.
> I kind of want her to email me, but I know that's unrealistic for therapeutic reasons and stuff, right?
****** Well, she probably won't email you if you don't email her first. I don't think many therapists would do that. But my T always responds to my emails, even though the large majority of the time it's just a sentence or a few words. It helps to know he's alive, for me.
>
> > Keep posting here. Your situation sounds SOOO similar to mine. And do I ever wish I knew when my T went where so I could cross paths with him!
> >
> > sunnydays
>
>
> Thanks for the help and encouragement!!***** You're welcome! Keep posting. I swear, you seem so similar to me!
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:713068
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/713424.html