Posted by sunnydays on December 8, 2006, at 18:28:01
In reply to So sad about T... what's wrong with me?, posted by LittleGirlLost on December 8, 2006, at 13:34:27
> I become PAINFULLY sad after seeing my therapist; it kills me! (This is nothing new, but it's not getting better either.) It's hard to talk to her about the feelings; especially the intensity.
***** I can relate, LGL. I know how hard it can be to talk about.
Then there is this wonderful forum of people who can relate; and I remember lurking for years before I began posting a few years ago, but it just hurts me to talk about her here, to relive it, and to hear others talk about their experiences.
**** It was really hard for me to start posting too. I probably lurked for a year and a half. And it can be hard to hear other people talk about their therapy.
And it's weird, but it's not just the "bad" stuff that hurts me, but the good stuff too! In fact, I left my T last week, much more sad than usual -- and what did I have to be sad about? She was kind and sweet and gentle as always, in fact, moreso! I think about her and want to cry. I write about her and want to cry. I just want to cry, but all of my tears are still hidden.
**** I feel this a lot too when I leave therapy. My T tells me I am grieving what I never had. It's hard to get something we want and need but only in little doses. I hear it gets better, though, and it can be so nice to feel someone's caring too. Try to keep at it if you can.
> I think I will have to go into hiding again for a while. I'm hurting too much. Oh, and not to worry, nothing's wrong, she's great, I love her. Sometimes I wonder if that's that problem. Why is it so scary to like someone?
> I wish you all a happy holiday season, filled with peace and love.
Please don't go into hiding LittleGirl. But if you need to, try to take care of yourself. You deserve so much. Try to let yourself have it as much as possible. Keep letting us know how you're doing. I'm certainly interested. You don't even have to read anyone else's posts, you can just post.