Posted by LittleGirlLost on December 8, 2006, at 13:34:27
It's been a while since I've posted, then I jumped in on the gift giving thread (thinking it would be a nice neutral topic to ease my way back in), but I don't think I can do this anymore.
I become PAINFULLY sad after seeing my therapist; it kills me! (This is nothing new, but it's not getting better either.) It's hard to talk to her about the feelings; especially the intensity. Then there is this wonderful forum of people who can relate; and I remember lurking for years before I began posting a few years ago, but it just hurts me to talk about her here, to relive it, and to hear others talk about their experiences. And it's weird, but it's not just the "bad" stuff that hurts me, but the good stuff too! In fact, I left my T last week, much more sad than usual -- and what did I have to be sad about? She was kind and sweet and gentle as always, in fact, moreso! I think about her and want to cry. I write about her and want to cry. I just want to cry, but all of my tears are still hidden.
I think I will have to go into hiding again for a while. I'm hurting too much. Oh, and not to worry, nothing's wrong, she's great, I love her. Sometimes I wonder if that's that problem. Why is it so scary to like someone?
I wish you all a happy holiday season, filled with peace and love.