Posted by Rigby on December 4, 2006, at 18:05:54
In reply to Re: Ending Therapy » Rigby, posted by LadyBug on December 4, 2006, at 15:07:20
Hi LadyBug,
Wow. Ten years. That's a long time. I think that the best therapists work themselves out a of job but that may be idealizing the profession.
I made the choice to end therapy. I felt that the main reason for remaining in therapy was just to avoid the pain of saying goodbye. I don't think I should stay in therapy--or anywhere for that matter--simply to avoid a goodbye.
I never really planned on being in therapy long term so it's interesting to contemplate if I got out what I'd planned. My life got turned on its head--huge changes--internal and external were made.
I look back and am stunned by how much I changed and how much my world changed--or how many changes I made in my world.
I did not plan on any of it.
Relative to my therapy, it felt like me and my therapist were not at war, but almost in a very intense war-like setting with so much going on.
But when it's done, well, it feels done. And trying to have it continue after so much was eventually resolved just felt, gut level to me, "off." And more like hanging on for old times sake vs. really making good progress. Maybe it needs a rest for a year or two. Maybe for good. But certainly, something was completed and needed to be honored and ended.
Looking back, I romanticize the time when I just began therapy--you can feel so coccooned and held and warmed by the process. But I think I'm romanticizing just like I would childhood (or an ideal one) where there's someone to take care of me and make it all right. At some point I felt like I had to grow up, though. Being in therapy can make you feel young--which is sorta seductive as we are all getting older!
I think I would go to this therapist again. But I think it would be in a while from now. I had some high points and some very interesting coincidences with her--and some low points and disappointments. There's possibly some transference left over--I don't think it was left 100% clean, but I didn't think it was worth spending a lot more time and money resolving it. Seemed like maybe the best way to resolve was to get distance rather than to tighten the space.
I read a good book before I left called, "When To Say Goodbye To Your Therapist" I highly recommend it to anyone in therapy--whether you're contemplating ending or not.
Have you discussed your addiction to your therapist with your therapist?
Rigby
> I can only imagine ending therapy because I've been seeing my T for almost 10 years now. I think what you said is the simple truth of it. I imagine it hurting no matter what and I have thought of it as an addiction as well. Maybe that's why I'm still there, I can't break the addiction I have to my T. I know I'd do ok without her, but I need her in my life as my life is full of so many dissapointments and heartache. I'm always on a roller coaster ride. And I love my T to pieces and can't bare the thoughts of losing her.
> Was it your choice to end your therapy? Do you have any regrets? Did you get out of it what you had planned? Would or could you go back to the same T? I'm just curious. You don't need to answer any of these questions if you don't want to. I think it takes a mighty strong person to complete the therapy process. I don't know if I'll ever be that strong.
> LadyBug
poster:Rigby
thread:710324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/710385.html