Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2006, at 20:43:58
In reply to Re: Unconditional acceptance » Dinah, posted by annierose on November 8, 2006, at 20:14:57
I've felt like I lost him many times. And likely will many times more.
And I probably have lost him many times and will likely lose him many times more.
But so far, I've been able to find him again, or he finds me. There's been a commitment on both our parts to keep trying.
There may come a day where he will slip from my grasp, or I will slip from his, and we won't find our way back. But that day isn't here yet.
I doubt it's here for you yet either.
It's discombobulating to cut down. It is for you, and it likely is for her. The textbooks would have us believe that they are totally neutral so that we can do what we need to do. But I don't believe in neutral in a long term relationship. Neutral has a meaning in long term relationships as clear as outright approval or disapproval. Neutral often comes across as indifferent, or as approval or disapproval, all depending on the feel to the neutrality and the meanings we assign to it. And the effort to maintain that "neutrality" is a drain of energy. I wish they would just substitute diplomatic and wise for neutral and have done with it.
You haven't asked for what you needed yet, and as my therapist often says, they can't read our minds. She might be struggling to figure out how best to help you, and this is what she's come up with. Maybe when you ask, she'll give it to you.
poster:Dinah
thread:701426
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701797.html