Posted by Jost on November 8, 2006, at 10:29:52
In reply to Partial followup on move, posted by Dinah on November 7, 2006, at 12:22:00
Maybe it makes him feel bad, conflicting loyalties, odd types of guilt going in different directions--
but he'll get it.
by the way, you are so entitled to whatever relationship you developed-- it's not as if all you're entitled to can be described with a list of therapeutic interventions.
You're not entitled to having him do certain things outside of your time-- but to an intimate relationship?-- I mean, if he's decided he doesn't want that any more-- I guess you're not per se entitled to it-- if my SigO decided he wanted to break up, I wouldn't be entitled to insist that he stay-- I mean I could get mad and all-- but ultimately it's his right to leave (d*mn well better not, though--cause I'd be awfully upset).
But other than that-- you are so. cause if he didn't want you to rely on that as part of how it was, he should have kept his limits clearer.
Not that you can't renegotiate the relationship-- but well entitled always slants the discussion-- you certainly have a reason to expect it-- and be very disturbed if it changes in ways that leave you feeling alone. At least IMO. I do admire your ability to believe you should hew to the rules, though.
(I got no sleep last night, so if capital letters are missing sometimes, I"m a bit too drained to fix it, sorry.)
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:700134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061026/msgs/701601.html