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Re: Partial followup on move Jost

Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2006, at 22:03:07

In reply to Re: Partial followup on move, posted by Jost on November 8, 2006, at 19:10:39

You need to get some sleep!

Not because your posts are in any way lacking, but just for your own health.

I think there may be two contributors to my internal boundaries.

One is that I am aware that to some extent my therapist is someone I've partially built on top of the foundation of what he presents to me. And also that he is a flawed human being who presents to me in the therapy room the best side of him. That's a rotten thing to say, but it's probably true. Therapist-moms are bound to be better than real ones. They have nowhere near as much invested, they only see you an hour at a time. (My ever so diplomatic therapist says you can stand anything for an hour at a time.) They can be patient and accepting and they won't yell at you not to leave your clothes on the floor.

I separate the therapist him from the real him, and keep strict boundaries, partly for my own good. I don't delve into who he really is, because I might find out things I don't wish to know.

But probably the greater reason that I keep boundaries up with everyone is that my mother is the classic space invader. I spent my entire life watching people nervously back away as she entered what is generally considered to be personal space. She is completely oblivious. I grew up in terror of being intrusive. My therapist says that terror makes me seem aloof and uncaring, and that I draw the boundaries too far on the other side. But overall it seems the lesser evil than missing the boundary and intruding.

This doesn't mean I don't remember every single morsel of information he has disclosed about himself over the years. :)




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