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Am I The Only One That Thinks This Is Bizarre?

Posted by flame on October 13, 2006, at 14:52:24

In reply to Re: That's a really good analogy » Racer, posted by flame on October 13, 2006, at 5:27:11

Okay, to expound on my post from earlier today, my husband had an outlandish solution to our son’s stealing problem and that is that we make sure that our son has money every week. It is true that his stealing did not ever happen before, until he lost his job. (He lost his job last February and his first “stealing” incident happened in May. But he was getting $228 unemployment every two weeks!??)

In response to an email I sent to one of our son’s counselors, just recently, asking if he would aid us in applying for SSDI for our son. The counselor basically said that he would “agree” that he is disabled, but would also mention that he does have ability to work. He “told” me that we were allowing him to get away with too much and “providing” too much for him.

So, my husband’s idea is exact opposite to our son’s counselor. (Personally, I think my husband’s suggestion is bizarre.) I Do feel like our son takes advantage of us .. and I would not (at all) like just “giving” him money every week.

My husband’s attitude is that .. we did not (previously) make sure son had money every week, and thus we ended up paying thousands of dollars in fines and court fees .. to make sure son didn’t go to jail. So .. husband believes that if we make sure that son has money coming every week (that son knows he can count on) that he would stop stealing.

Does anyone else think this is bizarre? I mean .. yes he is right that we have paid a lot of money for our son for all of the court fines, etc .. but now to keep him out of jail, we need to pay him every week? I almost feel like I am being black mailed. What options do we have? Our son, has many problems, that's for sure. But as his counselor has said before, he DOES have a memory and what will we be "teaching" him if we begin to "pay" him. This 26 yr. old adult son of ours gives nothing (already) to pay for rent, groceries or any of his expenses. And NOW we have to pay him for just being????

If son does go to jail for probation violation, is he going to come out even worse .. after being in contact with so many others that have all of their own sets of problems???? Gosh .. will there ever be an end to this vicious circle???

I know this post is "fragmented" and a lot of ranting going on ..

Thanks All for "listening"!





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